"I want you to see what you should have seen all along. What others see. More importantly what those who love and know you best see. The girl. The woman. Her beauty and her singularity" ~ One Black Dress

I wear many titles.

I am a daughter, I am a granddaughter, I am a niece, I am a cousin, I am a sister and I am an aunt. 

Although I love my family, unfortunately there are times that I'm not the best title bearer. I admit that I'm not exactly the best daughter and granddaughter - I should call and visit more. I'm not the best niece and cousin - I should text and chat more. I could use some work on being a good sister and aunt - I should be with my siblings and my nieces more. Sometimes life gets so busy that you put some of your titles on the back burner and let them simmer; we all do this.

One title that I bear was a title that I chose - My largest title of all. 

With this title, there is only room for improvement. Although I am well aware that no one is perfect, I do not feel that this title allows for failure. With this title I must be sympathetic, empathetic, trusting and honest. I must provide guidance as a leader, never being a follower. I must teach and listen. I must be understanding, open and engaged. I must be unselfish and giving. I must be comforting, forgiving, patient, kind and loving. 

I am a mother.

I became a mother on March 14th, 2004, I was still a baby myself - Young, afraid and uncertain. It took everything I had some days to stay strong and smile but I did it. I did it because I wanted to teach my daughter the beauty of life. I wanted her to grow up well-rounded enough to understand that even though I may not ever be the perfect mom, I will always be sympathetic, empathetic, trusting and honest. I wanted her to know that I will always guide her, I will never let her stray. I will forever teach her what I feel is right from wrong and she will know that if she doesn't agree I will listen to what she wants to bring to the table. She will know that I will understand her, I will be open to her feelings and thoughts and I will always be engaged in what she has to say. She will understand the importance of living an unselfish life because I will teach her to give and share her gifts. She will know that I will comfort and forgive her, I will be patient, always kind and I will love her unconditionally. 

From a tiny seed she will be cultivated into a strong and beautiful woman. This is my promise to her.

As we all know, so many girls and women these days lack self-esteem. I see posts all over the Internet and media about how we feel as though we are not good enough. We are too skinny, we bear too much weight. Our hair isn't long enough, it's the wrong colour. Our nails are too long and not manicured just so. The clothing we wear isn't as fashionable or expensive as it should be. We shouldn't wear so much make-up and our skin has too many flaws. Sometimes our bottoms are too big, sometimes too small. Our breasts aren't the best, we should have them reduced or enlarged. The bridge on our noses are too long, our eye lashes not long enough, our fingers aren't elegant and our toes look misaligned. We are too short and sometimes too tall. We have acne and scars and too much hair on our legs. All of the negative things that imprint fallacies into our daughters minds. It is my duty as a mother to ensure that my daughter doesn't just grow up hearing that she is beautiful but that she believes and knows that she is. 

Fortunately life never takes a break and is steadily teaching and preparing me for lessons that I must share with my daughter. One of the most beautiful lessons of all was gifted to Angelina and I.

Through a mutual friend I had heard of Leanna Dawn and the One Black Dress campaign that she had launched. Intrigued by her photography work I dug a little deeper to fully understand what her campaign was all about. I found that it was a campaign for women of all creeds, ethnicity's and ages - Strong, gorgeous, powerful women. A campaign to show the world that no matter who we are, no matter what we do, we are women; standing united in a world that is only as negative as we make it - Wearing the same, One Black Dress.

I had contacted Dawn regarding a photo session but funny enough, I planned to put it off because I wanted to lose some more weight before I did it. How contradictory is that, right?

Out of no where one afternoon my fiancé told Angelina and I that we had to get ready to go shopping. He didn't tell us where we were going and neither of us bothered asking - It didn't seem like anything abnormal. 

We drove about 15 minutes away from our house, all the while I was under the impression that he was taking us to a new shopping centre in our area. We pulled up a little side street, we stopped and he put the car into park asking us to get out. At this point I had no idea what we were doing. He appeared excited as he and Angelina got out of their side of the car and then came around to meet me at my side. I reluctantly started asking him where we were. "Whose house is this? What are we doing? What is going on?" I kept saying. Between all of my questions, giving nothing back but a smile he ushered us up the walkway to the front door and rang the bell.  

At the door stood one of the sweetest and warmest women I have had the opportunity to lay my eyes on. 

"Tawny" she said, "It's so nice to meet you, I'm Dawn". 

Still I had no idea what what going on, who this precious woman was, what I was doing, why my fiancé was so excited, Angelina was even puzzled. 

"You know who I am" Dawn said. "You know who she is" my fiancé sounded in. 

"No, I'm sorry, I don't know you" I chimed in. "What is this about?" I continued as we went inside and closed the door behind us. 

"You are here because your fiancé wanted you to do a One Black Dress session. He loves you so much!"

 

Dawn continued to share with me that my fiancé had contacted her privately to set up a photo shoot. He told her a bit about me, shared how much he loved me and set up our surprise date. 

We went into Dawn's prep area to  have my make-up and hair done. My hair was curled and she added a bit of foundation to my face, some lip gloss and some mascara. Nothing more because she had strict instructions from my fiancé to make sure that I was as au naturel as possible. He wanted to show me the beauty that he sees when he looks at me and he wanted Angelina and I to both understand how gorgeous we are. Awww, I know - He's so sweet! 

Once my hair and make-up was done I was taken to meet the infamous Black Dress. There she was on a display stand in one of Dawn's dressing rooms. A simple black dress, nothing fancy, as plain as plain can be. 

As I got dressed I stood in the mirror thinking that I needed my eye liner. No one ever sees me without my eye liner! I hardly had any make-up on! I hadn't lost the weight that I wanted to lose! Is this dress going to fit properly? I don't want to do this! It was unbelievable, I was almost panicking!

As the dress fit every other woman that had put it on, it fit me like a glove too. It was magical!

I opened the door of the dressing room and there stood my fiancé. He had the biggest smile on his face and told me how beautiful I was. He calmed me and I knew I was ready.

Our session was approximately an hour long, maybe a bit longer. It too was simple. The only lighting we used was natural sun light. No special tricks, no special props. It was me, Dawn, her camera and One Black Dress.  

When I was done, Angelina came into the shoot. My fiancé had gone out and purchased a black dress for her so that she was able to share a part in the campaign of beauty. Although Angelina was slightly nervous at first she owned the camera and loved every minute of it. 

Through my fiancé's vision, my daughter and I were taught that we didn't have to be afraid to show the world our flaws that day. We all  have them and we are all beautiful. This is our world and in our world we not only have the choice but the right to feel empowered, self-confident and beautiful in our skin. 

We have the right to flip our sexy hair whether it be long or short and click our perfectly trimmed nails on tables. We have the right to flash our crooked smiles and bat our short eyelashes. We have the right to embrace the beauty of our bodies and dress however we like even if we purchase our clothing at a second hand store. We have the right to cross our long legs and curl our imperfect toes. We have the right to be proud of our skin and each scar that we bear. 

We have the right to be perfectly flawed.

As my daughter nears her 10th birthday in only five days I look back reminiscing on each lesson I have taught her as well as those she has taught me. This lesson by far was one of the most important she and I have learned together and for that I sit here with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face thanking my fiancé, Dawn and her beautiful black dress.

XO Tawny

If you are in the Ottawa area, please reach out and book a One Black Dress session for yourself. There is nothing more empowering than expressing yourself, opening up and capturing your beauty in stills.

Men too are entitled to feel gorgeous and in changing the world one person at a time, One Black Tie will be launched Spring, 2014 for all of the wonderful men in our lives. Leanna Dawn is currently looking for men to take part and will be taking submissions until mid March for the inaugural shoot that will be done in April. You can message Dawn on Facebook here, ladies!

Photos © Copyright, Leanna Dawn Photography, 2013